I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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