The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
