Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
