Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
