I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
