Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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