it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize