Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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