yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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