Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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