I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
