his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
