So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
