Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
