your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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