drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
