I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
