Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
