You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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