Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
