you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize