He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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