But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
