This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
