I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
