We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
