I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize