fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
