she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
