is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
