I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
how does that bad decision feel?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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