So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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