it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
