I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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