I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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