im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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