threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize