Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
