No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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