last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
