Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
