Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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