I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
