were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
