literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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