So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
