why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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