You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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