right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
