it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
