He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
