i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
