i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
