Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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