I think i peed on brittanys purse
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
