i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
