I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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