I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize