Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
