Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
