Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
