The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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