i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
